What's putting a smile on your dial?

[tomo]

[LeeM]

 As seen on Marketplace today. Don't forget your exemption pass to leave your house! 😅

[LeeM]

47 minutes ago, Troubleshooter said:

You can delete my answer to the post too if you want. It was a pretty funny facetious meme all the same, you could've left it up but yeah the dude doesn't need any further humiliation

 Yeah I have now, thanks mate. I should've researched the meme a bit more before I posted it

[LeeM]

Just now, Troubleshooter said:

Well it was a pretty accurate meme of what's been happening the past 18 months... Power's gone to some of their heads

 Don't get me started mate

[tomo]

[3legs]

So true. In my case I reckon my mother had shares in the wooden spoon factory. She still won't let me forget the time I got her so angry she threw a knife at me and hit me in the leg. Thankfully it was a butter knife  

[tomo]

40 minutes ago, 3legs said:

So true. In my case I reckon my mother had shares in the wooden spoon factory. She still won't let me forget the time I got her so angry she threw a knife at me and hit me in the leg. Thankfully it was a butter knife  

Lucky you weren't soft

[Niko]

Fantastic, looks like my lucky day....😎

 

 

[Raven]

[tomo]

[Niko]

[tomo]

Not fair you crossed out the number

[LeeM]

1 hour ago, tomo said:

Not fair you crossed out the number

 Do you have Niko's number? It would be verrrrrry similar I imagine, as he has quite a fondness for black

[3legs]

Three elderly women are talking about their troubles.

“Sixty is the worst age to be,” said Ruth, the 60-year-old, “You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time nothing happens.”

“Ah, that’s nothing,” said the 70-year-old, Maxine. “When you’re 70, you don’t have a bowel movement anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothing happens.”

“Actually,” said Gilda, the 80-year-old, “Eighty is the worst age of all.”

“Do you have trouble peeing too?” asked Ruth.

“No, I pee every morning at 6 a.m. I pee like a racehorse; no problem at all.”

“Do you have trouble with your bowel movements?” Maxine questioned.

“No, I have one every morning at 6:30 a.m,” Gilda responded.

Puzzled with this, Ruth said, “Let’s get this straight. You pee every morning at 6 a.m. and poop every morning at 6:30 a.m. So what’s so tough about being 80?”

“I don’t wake up until 7.”

[tomo]

Little Johnny gets home from school roars into the bathroom to wash his hands catches mum starkers after a shower and says "Crikey whats that mum" Mum just casually says " Thats  my nerve " Johnny says arrhh ok and takes off for some for some milk and bickys in the kitchen . After a while Mum said " Can you go down  to Mr Days store and get me a broom Johnny, And put it on the tab " So of he goes to the store and gets the broom and roars back to the kitchen to finish his bickys,  Mum comes in ,Gets an eyefull of the broom and Says "Take that old broom back to the store and tell Mr Day to stick it up his jumper" And I will see him later . Mr Day  says "Well your Mother has a nerve " To which Johnny replies Yeah " Bloody sight more hair than your lousy old broom.,;)

[TwoHeadsTas]

4 minutes ago, tomo said:

Little Johnny gets home from school roars into the bathroom to wash his hands catches mum starkers after a shower and says "Crikey whats that mum" Mum just casually says " Thats  my nerve " Johnny says arrhh ok and takes off for some for some milk and bickys in the kitchen . After a while Mum said " Can you go down  to Mr Days store and get me a broom Johnny, And put it on the tab " So of he goes to the store and gets the broom and roars back to the kitchen to finish his bickys,  Mum comes in ,Gets an eyefull of the broom and Says "Take that old broom back to the store and tell Mr Day to stick it up his jumper" And I will see him later . Mr Day  says "Well your Mother has a nerve " To which Johnny replies Yeah " Bloody sight more hair than your lousy old broom.,;)

Not one of your best ones Tomo 🙂 

[Troubleshooter]

57 minutes ago, tomo said:

Little Johnny gets home from school roars into the bathroom to wash his hands catches mum starkers after a shower and says "Crikey whats that mum" Mum just casually says " Thats  my nerve " Johnny says arrhh ok and takes off for some for some milk and bickys in the kitchen . After a while Mum said " Can you go down  to Mr Days store and get me a broom Johnny, And put it on the tab " So of he goes to the store and gets the broom and roars back to the kitchen to finish his bickys,  Mum comes in ,Gets an eyefull of the broom and Says "Take that old broom back to the store and tell Mr Day to stick it up his jumper" And I will see him later . Mr Day  says "Well your Mother has a nerve " To which Johnny replies Yeah " Bloody sight more hair than your lousy old broom.,;)

I was wondering where this was going, thinking that of course mum had a full brazilian

[tomo]

7 hours ago, Troubleshooter said:

I was wondering where this was going, thinking that of course mum had a full brazilian

Nice clean joke ,( The only one I know ) Now you have gone and made it smutty

[Rob H]

You can rubbish female politicians as much as you like, but I don't think anyone should be doing it on this forum.

The "joke" should be deleted in my opinion.

[tomo]

[tomo]

[Costas]

[Troubleshooter]

[LeeM]

😂😂😂😂 brilliant 

[tomo]