Arne Krix Posted 23July, 2022 Report Share Posted 23July, 2022 When you sober up and start to realize what you've done. LeeM 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeatesy Posted 23July, 2022 Report Share Posted 23July, 2022 1 hour ago, Arne Krix said: When you sober up and start to realize what you've done. 😆 I can’t think of many better looking 52 year olds though LeeM and 3legs 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomo Posted 23July, 2022 Report Share Posted 23July, 2022 1 hour ago, Yeatesy said: 😆 I can’t think of many better looking 52 year olds though You wanna get an eyefull of me Mate Yeatesy, LeeM and 3legs 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joz Posted 23July, 2022 Report Share Posted 23July, 2022 GTP911 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeeM Posted 23July, 2022 Report Share Posted 23July, 2022 3 hours ago, Yeatesy said: 😆 I can’t think of many better looking 52 year olds though If he lost the beard, he'd probably look even younger! tomo, Troubleshooter, Yeatesy and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomo Posted 23July, 2022 Report Share Posted 23July, 2022 A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?" Yeatesy, Carrera28, Joz and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomo Posted 24July, 2022 Report Share Posted 24July, 2022 Teacher: “If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?”Vincent: “One dollar.”Teacher: “You don’t know your arithmetic.”Vincent: “You don’t know my father.” Dalai, 3legs, Yeatesy and 1 other 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joz Posted 25July, 2022 Report Share Posted 25July, 2022 3legs, TwoHeadsTas and Yeatesy 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joz Posted 26July, 2022 Report Share Posted 26July, 2022 Mick met Paddy in the street and said, 'Paddy, will you draw your bedroom curtains before making love to your wife in future?' 'Why?' Paddy asked. 'Because,' said Mick, 'the whole street was laughing when they saw you making love yesterday.' Paddy said, 'Stupid bastards, the laugh's on them ... I wasn't home yesterday.' tomo 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomo Posted 26July, 2022 Report Share Posted 26July, 2022 Dad: Son, I want you to marry a girl of my choice.Son: No.Dad: The girl is Bill Gate's daughter.Son: Okay then!Dad goes to Bill Gate.Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.Bill Gates: No.Dad: My son is the CEO of the world's greatest bank.Bill Gates: Okay then!Dad goes to the CEO of the world's greatest bank.Dad: Make my son the CEO.CEO: No.Dad: My son is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.CEO: Okay then!This is BUSINESS. Joz and MFX 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomo Posted 26July, 2022 Report Share Posted 26July, 2022 LeeM and 3legs 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomo Posted 28July, 2022 Report Share Posted 28July, 2022 A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog. “I've led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.” The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?” The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!” Carrera28, Dalai, LeeM and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomo Posted 29July, 2022 Report Share Posted 29July, 2022 There was a plane and it had 5 people in it: a president, a lawyer, a young teenage boy, a priest and a blonde girl. The plane driver said that the plane was going to crash so one of them has to jump off without a parachute because there was only 4 so they were talking to each other about who was going to jump off without a parachute. The president spoke first and he said " I run a part of this earth so I should get a parachute" so he jumped off with one. Then the blonde girl spoke and she said " I look beautiful so I should get one too" so she jumped off with one. The next person to speak was the lawyer and he said " I help people solve their problems so I should get one" so he jumped off with one. Now there was only two people left: a priest and the teenage boy. The priest said to the boy " here you take the last parachute and go because you will live a longer life then me" but then the boy said "no, it's all right because there is still 2 parachutes left. The blonde girl only took my backpack". Carrera28, nine93 and 3legs 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomo Posted 31July, 2022 Report Share Posted 31July, 2022 Patient: "I get a terrible pain in my eye when I drink a cup of coffee."Doctor: "Try taking the spoon out." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joz Posted 31July, 2022 Report Share Posted 31July, 2022 Raven, LeeM, tomo and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raven Posted 31July, 2022 Report Share Posted 31July, 2022 Joz, tomo and Stepo 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joz Posted 2August, 2022 Report Share Posted 2August, 2022 LeeM, tomo and Arne Krix 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomo Posted 2August, 2022 Report Share Posted 2August, 2022 Stepo, TwoHeadsTas and Joz 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeeM Posted 2August, 2022 Report Share Posted 2August, 2022 11 hours ago, Joz said: Onsite the other day, I couldn't find my nail gun anywhere. I had left the back of the van open (which I rarely do, as I've had tools flogged before) and thought some little twat had flogged it. Annoyed, I walk back in the house, and the woman asked why I looked concerned..."Reckon someone stole my nail gun out the back of my van!" "What, like the one on your toolbelt?" Err...😳😡🍆 3legs, Yeatesy, MFX and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stepo Posted 2August, 2022 Report Share Posted 2August, 2022 Was reading through the 996 handbook the other day and this "basic rule" statement gave me a little chuckle LeeM, Shedpest and Dalai 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raven Posted 3August, 2022 Report Share Posted 3August, 2022 Yeatesy, Joz, LeeM and 3 others 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raven Posted 3August, 2022 Report Share Posted 3August, 2022 11 hours ago, Stepo said: Was reading through the 996 handbook the other day and this "basic rule" statement gave me a little chuckle That is Hilarious I will take that into account next weekend when I go drive at 9000 rpm in my 3 RS or next race meet when I pull 13700 rpm in my Formula 1000 and consume a liter of Fuel a lap or 30 liters in 45 minutes at SMSP...............Too funny Or for the guys who Run the McLaren M8 E Can Am car , 8.85 liter BB Chev that consumes 400 liters of fuel in 57 minutes at race pace around SMSP .........Their fuel bill alone for a weekends racing must be huge , but they are always smiling Dalai 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joz Posted 3August, 2022 Report Share Posted 3August, 2022 11 hours ago, LeeM said: Onsite the other day, I couldn't find my nail gun anywhere. I had left the back of the van open (which I rarely do, as I've had tools flogged before) and thought some little twat had flogged it. Annoyed, I walk back in the house, and the woman asked why I looked concerned..."Reckon someone stole my nail gun out the back of my van!" "What, like the one on your toolbelt?" Err...😳😡🍆 The struggle is real! LeeM 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3legs Posted 4August, 2022 Report Share Posted 4August, 2022 Joz, tomo and LeeM 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joz Posted 4August, 2022 Report Share Posted 4August, 2022 tomo, 3legs, LeeM and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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