firstone Posted 31August, 2015 Report Share Posted 31August, 2015 Yep. That's her pick too, the bugeye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazzieman Posted 1September, 2015 Report Share Posted 1September, 2015 It's even more froggy than an old 911 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazzieman Posted 2September, 2015 Report Share Posted 2September, 2015 Being a normal diet sort of person (I know , I know that makes me an exception these days) I find this fellow's comments illuminating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tit Posted 3September, 2015 Author Report Share Posted 3September, 2015 ha. That reminds me of... Harvs11 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harvs11 Posted 5September, 2015 Report Share Posted 5September, 2015 Those whacky Germans.....The Domestikator Hotel Tit 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazzieman Posted 14September, 2015 Report Share Posted 14September, 2015 I lost my watch at a party. Saw a guy stepping on it whilst hassling a girl. I walked up to the guy and punched him in the nose.No-one does that to a girl, especially on my watch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tit Posted 15September, 2015 Author Report Share Posted 15September, 2015 I lost my watch at a party. Saw a guy stepping on it whilst hassling a girl. I walked up to the guy and punched him in the nose.No-one does that to a girl, especially on my watch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Airhead Posted 15September, 2015 Report Share Posted 15September, 2015 A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of his Porsche.His father said he'd make a deal with his son,"You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut.Then we'll talk about the Porsche." The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it. After about six weeks his father said,"Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible,but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut."The boy said,"You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that:- Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair." Dad replied "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harvs11 Posted 15September, 2015 Report Share Posted 15September, 2015 “Soon after the result of the dramatic leadership challenge was announced, #putoutyouronions was trending on Twitter,... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tit Posted 1October, 2015 Author Report Share Posted 1October, 2015 tazzieman and firstone 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter M Posted 2October, 2015 Report Share Posted 2October, 2015 (edited) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3253557/The-ultimate-bad-hair-day-Woman-ends-hospital-confusing-builder-s-foam-hair-mousse.html I've used this as a WHS training aid for some time but it still makes me laugh:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1336779/Family-overcome-emulsion-Car-crash-covers-white-paint.html Edited 2October, 2015 by Peter M Tit and JV911 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tit Posted 23November, 2015 Author Report Share Posted 23November, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarreraG50 Posted 23November, 2015 Report Share Posted 23November, 2015 Great News for Insomniacs, Only Three Sleeps Till Christmas Tit 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stew F Posted 23November, 2015 Report Share Posted 23November, 2015 Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side.This guy is driving along in his Porsche, minding his own business, when all of a sudden a police car pulls up along side him, with lights flashing. The cop indicates for him to pull over. So he speeds up. Up to 80, in a 60 zone. The cop pulls up along side him again and indicates for him to pull over. So he speeds up again. Now he;s doing 100. Still, the cop pulls up along side him. So he speeds up again. Now he's doing 180, and the cop is still along side him, yelling at him to pull over. Feeling defeated, he finally pulls over. The cop comes up to the window and says "sir, what's going on? Every time I told you to pull over you sped up." "Well it's like this' the guy says. "A few years ago my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought it was you and you were bringing her back". ByronBayChris, ANF and Tit 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OZ930 Posted 23November, 2015 Report Share Posted 23November, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Airhead Posted 3December, 2015 Report Share Posted 3December, 2015 'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.' Tit 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tit Posted 3December, 2015 Author Report Share Posted 3December, 2015 Other than making him go shopping with her... 'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Posted 3December, 2015 Report Share Posted 3December, 2015 Qantas Airlines: Repair Division In case you need a laugh: Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny............ (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. And the best one for last.................. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget. ANF, SteveF and ByronBayChris 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tit Posted 3December, 2015 Author Report Share Posted 3December, 2015 Rob 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazzieman Posted 4December, 2015 Report Share Posted 4December, 2015 When I was young I baked an apple tart. I then drove it to Dubbo, Kalgoorlie and Frankston.All because my maths teacher said I should always take pie to three dismal places.My girlfriend wanted to get a tattoo on one of her breasts. I said she couldn't have one. We argued all night and into the morning. We reached a compromise after a tit for tat battle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tit Posted 4December, 2015 Author Report Share Posted 4December, 2015 Sounds like your dad joke skills are finely honed... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter M Posted 4December, 2015 Report Share Posted 4December, 2015 (edited) Sounds like your dad joke skills are finely honed...Tit, don't laugh, I know you're not, but this is your future too. It happens, you're going a long fine and then you'll do something or say something and suddenly you realise that you have turned into your father. Edited 4December, 2015 by Peter M Stew F 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tit Posted 4December, 2015 Author Report Share Posted 4December, 2015 Tit, don't laugh, I know you're not, but this is your future too. It happens, you're going a long fine and then you'll do something or say something and suddenly you realise that you have turned into your father. Thats not ideal. It would probably result in divorce... ANF and Peter M 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter M Posted 4December, 2015 Report Share Posted 4December, 2015 Thats not ideal. It would probably result in divorce...Don't worry, she will be far too alarmed about displaying characteristics that are far to close to her mother's to ever notice your decline! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tit Posted 4December, 2015 Author Report Share Posted 4December, 2015 Don't worry, she will be far too alarmed about displaying characteristics that are far to close to her mother's to ever notice your decline! if both thos things happen, it will probably result in a house fire... Peter M 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.