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I've noticed lots of women out running recently and I'd like to take this opportunity to say, fair play to them
It takes a lot for a woman to admit they're in the wrong, so fair play on them for driving less and making the roads a safer place for the rest of us...

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Two Taswegians were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer.  

After a while the first Taswegian says to the second,

"if I was to sneak over to your house and shag your wife while you was off fishing, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related"

The second Taswegian crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes, thinking real hard about the question.

Finally, he says...."Well, I don't know about being related, but I reckon it's make us even"

 

Sorry Tazzie and ANF

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A little old lady had always wanted to join a local biker club, so one day she goes up and knocks on the door. A big, hairy bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers.

She says “I want to join your club.”

The guy was amused, but says she needs to meet certain biker requirements in order to join.

The biker asks, “Do you have a bike?”

The little old lady replies, “Yep… my bike’s over there,” and points to a flamed black Harley chopper in the driveway.

The biker asks, “Do you drink?”

The little old lady replies, “Yep… drink like a fish. I’ll drink any man in your club under the table.”

The biker asks, “Do you smoke?”

The little old lady replies, “Yep… smoke like a chimney. At least 4 packs of cigarettes and three joints a day and a couple of cigars in the evening, while I’m shooting pool.”

The biker is very impressed and asks, “Last question…. have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?”

The little old lady thinks for a minute and says, “Nope……but I’ve been swung around by my nipples a few times.”

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A lot of the early Taswegians were English born too. 

http://www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~austashs/convicts/conships_i.htm
 

Paul, have you found any long lost cousins? 

Yes , my wife is a very good genealogist (& wife :)) who has naughty English blood in her.

As for my long lost cousins,  the answer on this forum is "nein".

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Yes , my wife is a very good genealogist (& wife :)) who has naughty English blood in her.

As for my long lost cousins,  the answer on this forum is "nein".

So your wife and kids are descended from, as Jack Thompson describes convict ancestors, "Aussie royalty".   Same here.  My mother, who is the family genealogist, was quite embarrassed by it the rest of us thought it was hilarious.

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  My mother, who is the family genealogist, was quite embarrassed by it the rest of us thought it was hilarious.

So in other words , a random funny?

The "convict stain" still tastes bitter for anyone over a certain age.

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