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* Women Make Better Assassins*

  The C I A had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were three finalists: two men and a woman.

 

For the final test, the C I A agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

 

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her."

 

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.

 

The agent said, "Then you are not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.

 

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife.

 

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes, so take your wife and go home.

 

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping sweat from her brow.

"The gun was loaded with blanks," she said.

 

"I had to kill him with the chair."

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The tease given to us by @JerrySeinfeld reminded me of one of the funniest coffee & cars I have seen him do.

Ricky is obviously not a car guy, they should have given him one of those eldery stainless bath safety rails to hang on to :Chuckle2:

I couldn't find a link that didn't include an add, had me laughing at around 2:20, worth watching a little longer

 

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I possess such a device , though it is not connected to the internet. (Don't laugh , it's true ask ANF) .
Thus , I rely on the device connected to my neck.
Feed it a beer and it knows a little bit about everything. The rest is good for arguments if not chasing cats.

Very 1950s

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1 minute ago, tazzieman said:

I possess such a device , though it is not connected to the internet. (Don't laugh , it's true ask ANF) .
Thus , I rely on the device connected to my neck.
Feed it a beer and it knows a little bit about everything. The rest is good for arguments if not chasing cats.

Very 1950s

I have a wife

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6 minutes ago, Airhead said:

So do I. She knows every that I think. Or tells me what I should think.

 

 

6 minutes ago, tazzieman said:

Me also. Which is why I don't need to be "connected" when out & about with her.
Happy to be connected at home . But we turn the phone off.

 

How much to keep quiet?

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1 hour ago, GC9911 said:

So already sold your Encyclopaedia Britanica.

Turns out every other bloke with kids had the same device.  

Have plenty of wheel chocks, door stops and educational toilet paper.

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