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I had a book called 1000 uses for the word Bastard. Loaned it to someone and never did get it back. 

Years ago my dad's brother came over from zee farzerland for a holiday. He was running along the beach when this bloke on a backhoe yelled out to him "how ya going ya bastard". He was really offended, until we explained that the guy was offering a friendly greeting. Us crazy Aussies.

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  My ex is Scottish, and had her old school ex cop uncle come out for a holiday. We were out at the shops, and for some reason I said jokingly 'Ah ya silly bastard'.

 Within a second he had me by the throat up against the wall until everyone grabbed him and told him thats what we say as a term of endearment

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A few weeks ago I bought a can of that stuff ; squirted a bit in to the carb and chucked the can on the driveway. Piece of sharp gravel punctured the can and whoosh , $18 down the drain (or into the atmo)

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