michel Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 Gents given the intensity of feeling that poorly worded copy illicits. Given the depth of secret shame and loathing Porsche ownership offers . Who hasn't been flipped the bird, loving partner hasn't called you a wanker let alone that x5 drivin school mum... I'm putting a bit of redemption on the table - so strap on your lobster bibs boys Easy to play - everyone puts up their best example of poor vendor copy. Everyone votes for the vendor who needs our help most. Then we've got 72 hours to pen the perfect piece of prose. Everyone votes - we then present the poorly penned Porsche 'vendor our winning' copy ... Takers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerry Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 Love it, but give an example to get us going Michel... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ByronBayChris Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 72 hours? All the 911s will be sold by then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michel Posted 6May, 2015 Author Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 Easy kerry ... The ad that's got everyone gnashing their teeth over... Everyone submit - ante up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter M Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 So let me get this straight. We nominate the advert that we think requires the most help and then propose an improved description? So original description - everyone's current favourite:Seller's CommentIt has a powerful 3.6 litre engine. This Porsche 911 Carrera (No Badge) has pure driving dynamics. This car runs like a dream and is in near perfect condition. This car has a full service history. 143000 km on odometer only. This car comes from a non smoking environment. Has recently undertaken a major service. This car has been certified as roadworthy. This car has front & rear power windows, 10 speakers, air conditioning and ABS brakes. This car has power door mirrors, central locking, driver airbag, passenger airbag, alloy wheels and front fog lamps. This car has 2 airbags fitted for your protection. This car won't last long at this price $95,000. EXCITING FEATURES - Driver airbag - ABS brakes - Central locking - Air conditioning - Alloy wheels - Power door mirrors - Front & rear power windows This Porsche 911 Carrera Coupe represents great value at $95,000. This car comes with a complete roadworthy certificate. Very recent complete top end overhaul, new sport shockers and adjustable springs, stainless steel bypass exhaust system, this car is in immaculate condition with full new car delivery books and service history My suggested amendment:If you're interested in this car you either know what your doing and nothing I say here will make any difference as you'll only pay attention to your PPI. Alternatively you don't know what you're doing and you will ignore this anyway. Since the car is 21 years old and still goes shows that it has been serviced and it will always have new bits added and that's unremarkable too. Have a look at the photos and if you like what you see, give me a call. No texts or emails. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazzieman Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 This car - This car - This car - This car - This car - This car - This car This car? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazzieman Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 1976 PORSCHE 911 S WITH C2 TURBO BODY KIT. Full re-built 930 turbo engine modified with 3.4L turbo RUF BTR spec with big HP G50 5 speed gearbox. Full CS (Clubsport interior including; MOMO race seats and full roll cage). 19 Victor racing wheels, adjustable suspension for weekend boy racer and then daily cruising. Upgraded lager Porsche competition brakes, many extras, too many to mention, the list of performance extra is extensive and this was an extremely outrageously expensive project and a decade of dedicated works and upgrades, irreplaceable at this cost and represents sensational amazing value for money with all the expensive work done. This is a lot of awesome exotic super car motoring for only $89,990 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TINGY Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 "First to see will buy won't last at this price", that's always a gem, meanwhile 6 months later................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KGB Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 My version; "It's an air-cooled unicorn made of unobtainium. Send your money chumps. Once you've all paid I'll decide who get's it. Umpires decision is final" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edgy Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 EXCITING FEATURES - Driver airbag - ABS brakes - Central locking - Air conditioning - Alloy wheels - Power door mirrors - Front & rear power windows Features SO exciting I can hardly contain myself!!! IF I was shopping for a Camry that is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russ Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 isn't Carsales now using an algorithm to write their advertisements based on known details from Redbook etc.? So if the seller doesn't create an ad their automated software does? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michel Posted 6May, 2015 Author Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 isn't Carsales now using an algorithm to write their advertisements based on known details from Redbook etc.? So if the seller doesn't create an ad their automated software does? Russ I'll start a different thread for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russ Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 will it be called 'sometimes Russ has no sense of humour'? http://www.ebay.com/itm/Porsche-911-Prototype-/151667569832 Porsche 911 P911 Prototype 911 The Shocking Secret More pictures and information porscheprototype.com Attn.Porsche Cars North America Attn.Porsche AG Oh My Gosh! It's Art Work! Attn.Volkswagen AG (on my other auction) Sometimes the TRUTH is Stranger than Fiction! To the uninitiated A Picture is worth a Thousand Words Rarely driven, suit VERY KEEN enthusiast buyer Owner all sorts of crazy Will cause all sorts of discussion on the internet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter M Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 "First to see will buy won't last at this price", that's always a gem, meanwhile 6 months later................... Makes me think of this advert:1 OWNER ONLY! Purchased 1997 NEW. LOWEST KLM'S OF THIS SERIES- ONLY 45/- KLMS DRIVEN! Owner has had offers over $195,000. This Porsche 911 Carrera has 210kW engine power @ 6100rpm. It has a powerful 3.6 litre engine. Low km with only 45000 on the clock. This car has rear spoiler, speed determined. 6 speakers. It has remote central locking, "17"" alloy wheels", power windows, power steering, power door mirrors and driver airbag. It has climate control air conditioning. Equipped with ABS brakes. This car is for sale at offers over $200,000 .. It is certified roadworthy. He's been holding out for the extra $5k for months and suspect he's now kicking himself for not taking the 195 when he could. That's obviously bullshit like the rest of his advert and surely the longer he leaves that claim in, the more self respect he loses? Looks like the 993 sellers have cornered the wanker segment so far. I thought the 930 and 964 owners would make a better showing of it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazzieman Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 Used car sellers have been polishing turds for decades. In fact , used horse dealers did the same. Human nature hard at work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter M Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 It's remarkable how willing we are to prostitute our integrity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazzieman Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 Another case of bangorrhea PRICE DROPPED!! MUST SELL!! UPDATED MODEL!! Highly sort after black on black with manual gearbox Porsche Boxster 986 including REG + RWC.Up for sale is my beloved Porsche 986, it is the perfect combination of black paint, black leather and manual transmission! I searched long and hard to find this highly sort after combination in good condition as a lot of cars I looked at appeared great in the ads but extremely aged and un-cared for in person. If you are anything like myself to own a boxster the combination of black on black in manual is a non negotiable and to find one like this with all the goodies for a realistic price this won’t last long!For those who don’t know this is the facelift version of the 986 boxster, you will notice they are much nicer looking over the tired and old looking models. This is due to a few things including deleting all the orange indicators and updated the interior!Some great stand out features about this car: (and on many many other cars on the road)- Clear headlights- Clear side indicators- Clear tail lights- Professionally lowered sports suspension- Gloss red brembo brakes (gloss does it for me )- Update gear selector- Update 3-spoke steering wheel- Touch screen media centre with Bluetooth and wireless music streaming - Premium sound system with CD⁄AUX⁄USB support, 4 speakers and SubwoofersGreat factory features: (also on many other cars completely built in a factory)- Alloy Wheels - Electric Seat - Drivers- ABS (Antilock Brakes) - Engine Immobiliser- Air Cond. - Climate Control - Leather Seats- Airbags - Driver & Passenger (Dual) - Power Door Mirrors- Alarm - Power Roof - Soft- Power Steering- Power Windows- Central Locking - Roof Deflector- Disc Brakes These features were ahead for its time and are an essential in this day and age! (Your opinion differs from mine)The sound the engine makes as referred to as the “Flat six symphony” is remarkable and with an average of 9L⁄100km fuel consumption and a 6 second 0-100km⁄h time it is an absolute pleasure to drive daily or just on the weekends!Exterior, interior and driveline are in great condition for its age really stands out.Has all up to date service history will be supplied with current RWC and registration until the end of the year!Customized (random letters and numbers to the buyer) plates were a gift and will not be sold with the car.Only reason for selling the car is I am currently looking to buy a house and need to make up the deposit, great condition reliable car at a great price!It is a very regretful sale and i will be sad to see it go (as wife says I now have to drive a used Prius), please call or text me for further information or to arrange a time to view.Strictly no swaps, cash buyers only! (looks OK mate here's 18k in $100 bills in bundles of 30) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 I'm trying really hard, but I seriously don't get this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rod C Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 Read this in Unique Cars about 20 years ago "car is going to be sold it has done its job, getting married". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michel Posted 6May, 2015 Author Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 I'm trying really hard, but I seriously don't get this thread. froggy ill start another thread for you also... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter M Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 I'm trying really hard, but I seriously don't get this thread.I just blame the lack of good television shows at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazzieman Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 I just blame the lack of good television shows at the moment. You're missing Top Gear re-runs also? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter M Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 You're missing Top Gear re-runs also?Yes. Only one big telly in the house and the missus insists on watching the cooking shows..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazzieman Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 Yes. Only one big telly in the house and the missus insists on watching the cooking shows..... She's a smeghead? I miss Red Dwarf too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tk111 Posted 6May, 2015 Report Share Posted 6May, 2015 I'm trying really hard, but I seriously don't get this thread. Ahh yes, I think one has to spend some quality time with Michel to follow his thought process. Often highly intelligent thoughts with an amazingly well researched basis... Other times just taking the piss because he can.. Then there are the times he is so far ahead in his thought processes that it takes ignorants such as myself weeks to catch up. Then occasionally it's just some random thought that he put down for perpetuity on the interwebs for the rest of us to ponder, whilst he has a giggle and moves on. Whichever it is, it is almost always thought provoking in one way or another. Therefore probably worth the exercise. (Disclaimer I have had a couple of nice Barrossa Reds and am probably just writing dribble myself, I reserve the rite to edit my comments later) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.