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This 928 ad got pulled from Craigslist a day ago

 

Picture Represents What You'll Be Looking At Most Of The Time With This Car

 


Mostly Complete List Of Faults (Bring A Flatbed Unless You're Feeling Lucky)

- Driver's side door only opens from the inside
- 174,000 miles and the odometer is busted (which previous owner didn't ****ing tell me)
- NUMEROUS electrical faults (Lights, wipers, and radio may or may not work)
- Smells musty as ****
- AC doesn't work and I don't know exactly how ****ed the system is
- Because it's a Porsche, even the ****ing GAS CAP is Special and the one it has now doesn't let the door fully close
- The wheel hub can fail on you, leaving you without braking power, and all it sounds like is road noise right up until your wheel is about to fall the **** off 
- Seriously, it's a Porsche, EVERYTHING is Special & Expensive
- Various electrical faults mean the battery drains overnight so BRING A BATTERY if you want to take a chance on driving it anywhere
- One of the body panels doesn't quite ****ing match
- Speedometer broke within days of buying the ****ing thing
- Feels like you're doing 50 when in fact you're going over 80 on the 101 when it's wet
- Amazing ability to have shit break on you at the worst possible moment
- Huge V8 engine means this bastard is not particularly cheap to run around even in the best of repair
- This may tempt you to outrun cops (don't try, you don't outrun a God damn Motorola radio)
- Even though it's a Porsche, it's not considered a REAL Porsche by Real Porsche Guys
- Real Porsche Guys will SPIT ON YOU
- Yes, they will SPIT ON YOU
- They are good at knowing when you're going to OPEN YOUR MOUTH to mention the V8 motor and their aim is BALLS-ON
- The motor's in the front, the battery's in the back, and it's technically a hatchback kinda-sorta?
- As the most powerfully-engined Porsche ever made, it is highly likely to kill your dumb ass
- It stranded MY dumb ass in ****ing BARSTOW for a ****ing WEEK
- It may well make you realize exactly how much you HATE DRIVING
- The registration is out of date a couple-few years; if you're turned off by a little extra expense THIS IS CLEARLY NOT THE ****ING CAR FOR YOU, PRIVATE PYLE

---- SUGGESTED USES FOR THIS CURSED CAR ----

- Enter it into a Demolition Derby and turn some ****ing heads (and maybe make some dudes cry in the stands)
- Do you have a son you don't like? Get it running and let him borrow it. Nature will quickly take its course!
- Nobody's really tried to get into the "car-eating" game since Michel Lotito, so why not give it a shot? The relatively nice leather interior will go down smoothest, but I suggest a Sawzall to get the rest down to eating size. Bon appetit!
- You can **** IT for all I care
- Literally **** it. Stick your **** in the tailpipe. Let the stick-shift (yes, stick-shift, not many 928's came out in manual) penetrate your insides and feel that warm V8 pulse your guts with PURE PLEASURE. Disassemble the vehicle entirely and SHOVE IT UP YOUR *** piece-by-piece as a bold new experimental art exhibition. The point is, I DON'T ****ING CARE WHAT YOU DO WITH THIS CAR. IT'S PISSING OFF MY GOOD LANDLORD AND I AM REALLY TEMPTED TO JUST SELL IT FOR SCRAP SO IT DOESN'T **** ANYONE ELSE.

DESPITE ALL THAT, THE PRICE IS NON-NEGOTIABLE.

If 25 bills even makes you BAT AN EYE, YOU CAN'T REALLY AFFORD THIS CAR. BRING A MEANS OF TOWING, PREFERABLY ONE YOU OWN. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

ALL CASH WILL BE PEN-CHECKED AT MY BANK.

IF YOU THINK I'LL LET YOU TAKE IT BEFORE A CHECK CLEARS YOU'RE A DUMB MOTHER****ER SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL BRING CASH.

IF YOU WANNA HAGGLE, THIS IS THE ONLY DEAL: I'LL ONLY NEGOTIATE IF YOU CAN DO MORE PUSH-UPS THAN I CAN. THIS ISN'T HARD. ALSO, BY HAGGLING YOU CONSENT TO THE CAMEL CLUTCH AND SUBSEQUENT HUMBLING. DO YOU REALLY WANNA RISK THAT?

If you couldn't tell from the above, this is AS-IS. Text or e-mail preferred; if you MUST call, PLEASE make it between 8 AM and 8 PM. There may be a quiz.
do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

post-236-0-51954600-1411603827_thumb.jpg

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After all that the seller still has a sense of humour.

 

 

This 928 ad got pulled from Craigslist a day ago

 

Picture Represents What You'll Be Looking At Most Of The Time With This Car

Mostly Complete List Of Faults (Bring A Flatbed Unless You're Feeling Lucky)

- Driver's side door only opens from the inside
- 174,000 miles and the odometer is busted (which previous owner didn't ****ing tell me)
- NUMEROUS electrical faults (Lights, wipers, and radio may or may not work)
- Smells musty as ****
- AC doesn't work and I don't know exactly how ****ed the system is
- Because it's a Porsche, even the ****ing GAS CAP is Special and the one it has now doesn't let the door fully close
- The wheel hub can fail on you, leaving you without braking power, and all it sounds like is road noise right up until your wheel is about to fall the **** off 
- Seriously, it's a Porsche, EVERYTHING is Special & Expensive
- Various electrical faults mean the battery drains overnight so BRING A BATTERY if you want to take a chance on driving it anywhere
- One of the body panels doesn't quite ****ing match
- Speedometer broke within days of buying the ****ing thing
- Feels like you're doing 50 when in fact you're going over 80 on the 101 when it's wet
- Amazing ability to have shit break on you at the worst possible moment
- Huge V8 engine means this bastard is not particularly cheap to run around even in the best of repair
- This may tempt you to outrun cops (don't try, you don't outrun a God damn Motorola radio)
- Even though it's a Porsche, it's not considered a REAL Porsche by Real Porsche Guys
- Real Porsche Guys will SPIT ON YOU
- Yes, they will SPIT ON YOU
- They are good at knowing when you're going to OPEN YOUR MOUTH to mention the V8 motor and their aim is BALLS-ON
- The motor's in the front, the battery's in the back, and it's technically a hatchback kinda-sorta?
- As the most powerfully-engined Porsche ever made, it is highly likely to kill your dumb ass
- It stranded MY dumb ass in ****ing BARSTOW for a ****ing WEEK
- It may well make you realize exactly how much you HATE DRIVING
- The registration is out of date a couple-few years; if you're turned off by a little extra expense THIS IS CLEARLY NOT THE ****ING CAR FOR YOU, PRIVATE PYLE

---- SUGGESTED USES FOR THIS CURSED CAR ----

- Enter it into a Demolition Derby and turn some ****ing heads (and maybe make some dudes cry in the stands)
- Do you have a son you don't like? Get it running and let him borrow it. Nature will quickly take its course!
- Nobody's really tried to get into the "car-eating" game since Michel Lotito, so why not give it a shot? The relatively nice leather interior will go down smoothest, but I suggest a Sawzall to get the rest down to eating size. Bon appetit!
- You can **** IT for all I care
- Literally **** it. Stick your **** in the tailpipe. Let the stick-shift (yes, stick-shift, not many 928's came out in manual) penetrate your insides and feel that warm V8 pulse your guts with PURE PLEASURE. Disassemble the vehicle entirely and SHOVE IT UP YOUR *** piece-by-piece as a bold new experimental art exhibition. The point is, I DON'T ****ING CARE WHAT YOU DO WITH THIS CAR. IT'S PISSING OFF MY GOOD LANDLORD AND I AM REALLY TEMPTED TO JUST SELL IT FOR SCRAP SO IT DOESN'T **** ANYONE ELSE.

DESPITE ALL THAT, THE PRICE IS NON-NEGOTIABLE.

If 25 bills even makes you BAT AN EYE, YOU CAN'T REALLY AFFORD THIS CAR. BRING A MEANS OF TOWING, PREFERABLY ONE YOU OWN. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

ALL CASH WILL BE PEN-CHECKED AT MY BANK.

IF YOU THINK I'LL LET YOU TAKE IT BEFORE A CHECK CLEARS YOU'RE A DUMB MOTHER****ER SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL BRING CASH.

IF YOU WANNA HAGGLE, THIS IS THE ONLY DEAL: I'LL ONLY NEGOTIATE IF YOU CAN DO MORE PUSH-UPS THAN I CAN. THIS ISN'T HARD. ALSO, BY HAGGLING YOU CONSENT TO THE CAMEL CLUTCH AND SUBSEQUENT HUMBLING. DO YOU REALLY WANNA RISK THAT?

If you couldn't tell from the above, this is AS-IS. Text or e-mail preferred; if you MUST call, PLEASE make it between 8 AM and 8 PM. There may be a quiz.
do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

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I think that's a good thing... car feels like it's going slowly when it's actually going fast?

 

That's exactly what I understood.

 

The car is so rock solid that it feels you are going slower than the actual speed.

 

That's a good thing I would have thought.

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That reminds me, I haven't spat on a 928 driver  in ages.... :ph34r:

 

This is why LHD is good.  You can get a lurgy right onto the drivers window of the 928 while in traffic.  They won't be able to yell back, either, because your air-cooled clatter will drown them out.

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This is why LHD is good.  You can get a lurgy right onto the drivers window of the 928 while in traffic.  They won't be able to yell back, either, because your air-cooled clatter will drown them out.

That is disgusting!!!!!!!!!!!
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Noticed JZM Porsche in the UK have sold their midnight blue 993 RS Touring, for which they were asking £249,000 ($463,000). Their black 993 RSCS at £339,900 ($632,000) is still available. Big discrepancy in pricing given the Australian market doesn't price the two versions very differently at all.

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