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What's putting a smile on your dial?


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3 hours ago, tomo said:

Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”

Dad: “Call me George.”

It's funny but geez the real figures are a bit of a worry. Apparently approx 30% of males who think their child is his are not the biological father. 

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3 hours ago, 3legs said:

It's funny but geez the real figures are a bit of a worry. Apparently approx 30% of males who think their child is his are not the biological father. 

Funny thing, My Uncle George was Dad 😀.At least it wasn't the milkman.

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 Reminds me of my ex when she called saying her car was really sluggish, and had to really put her foot down to drive, and that there's a red light on the dash. Told her to send me a photo, and it was her handbrake light 😅

 Funny how her car drove normally after I diagnosed the problem 😁

 Stunning girl, but not the sharpest tool in the shed 

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1 hour ago, LeeM said:

 Reminds me of my ex when she called saying her car was really sluggish, and had to really put her foot down to drive, and that there's a red light on the dash. Told her to send me a photo, and it was her handbrake light 😅

 Funny how her car drive normally after I diagnosed the problem 😁

 Stunning girl, but not the sharpest tool in the shed 

Not touching that ;)

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Two Irish blokes are out hunting in the woods when Paddy says,"I'm dying for a shit, but I haven't got anything to wipe my arse with." 
Mick says,"Have you got a fiver Paddy?" "Yes," says Paddy."Well use that," replies Mick. So Paddy goes off for 5 minutes and comes back with shit all over his hands and clothes.
Mick says,"What the hell happened to you?" Paddy looks at him and replies,"Have you ever tried to wipe your arse with four pound coins and two 50 pence pieces?"

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