Harvs11 Posted 3May, 2017 Report Share Posted 3May, 2017 (edited) LDS? Edited 3May, 2017 by Harvs11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stew F Posted 16May, 2017 Report Share Posted 16May, 2017 I bought myself a pair of tortoise shell shoes on Saturday. It took me 4 hours to walk out of the store. grantmr 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stew F Posted 27May, 2017 Report Share Posted 27May, 2017 I saw a poster today with a picture of a cat. Underneath the picture it said Have you seen my cat? I rang the number and said No. I like to help out when I can. firstone and LeeM 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stew F Posted 27May, 2017 Report Share Posted 27May, 2017 This morning there was a mosquito on the wall in my bedroom. Instead of killing it, I sat next to it and just on buzzing. I wanted it to know what it's like to not be able to get to sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grantmr Posted 27May, 2017 Report Share Posted 27May, 2017 Dad? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stew F Posted 27May, 2017 Report Share Posted 27May, 2017 Two African migrants arrived in New York. They were discussing the differences between there country and the US. "I heard that Americans eat dogs" said one of them. The other one replied "Well if we want to fit in we better eat dogs as well". So they went to the nearest hot dog stall and ordered 2 dogs. The first guy opened his, looked at it, then turned to his friend and said "what part did you get?". Niko and grantmr 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cars And Coffee Byron Bay Posted 27May, 2017 Report Share Posted 27May, 2017 @Stew F, sorry - if I like those then I'll have to come clean as a Dad joke liker...... Stew F and grantmr 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stew F Posted 27May, 2017 Report Share Posted 27May, 2017 Geez, tough crowd. grantmr, SteveF, Cars And Coffee Byron Bay and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grantmr Posted 27May, 2017 Report Share Posted 27May, 2017 Keep 'em coming though. I have exactly two jokes in my repetiour:Two men walk into a bar; one man ducks.AndTwo men walk into a bar carrying birds; one man geese, one man ducks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niko Posted 28May, 2017 Report Share Posted 28May, 2017 This morning there was a mosquito on the wall in my bedroom. Instead of killing it, I sat next to it and just on buzzing. I wanted it to know what it's like to not be able to get to sleep.ha ha well, this is my story.....and it's true.....a few years ago we had something in the roof....Buggered if I know what it was, possum, rat, mouse, bird whatever it kept scratching all night, right above our bed.So after two nights without sleep, I decided to fight "fire with fire".If this "animal" was up all night giving us the shites, chances are it would be sleeping during the day... So during the day I put a radio up into the roof and turned it up full blast, ha ha, well my missus, daughter and grand kids, though Poppy had finally lost the plot. (again)Well, I don't know if it worked or not, but after two days of "roof radio" whatever the critter was, it never came back.I still cop a bit of flack over my tactics. Raven, Cars And Coffee Byron Bay and SteveF 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stew F Posted 28May, 2017 Report Share Posted 28May, 2017 @Niko i had a similar issue with a possum. I put a fluro light in the roof. Drove the little critter out in no time. Niko 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazzieman Posted 30May, 2017 Report Share Posted 30May, 2017 Shoulda gone old skool Lucky Phil and grantmr 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cars And Coffee Byron Bay Posted 31May, 2017 Report Share Posted 31May, 2017 Or learn to back a trailer. Its not hard really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazzieman Posted 7June, 2017 Report Share Posted 7June, 2017 My wife always blames me! I sent her this ANF 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grantmr Posted 8June, 2017 Report Share Posted 8June, 2017 I googled "cigarette lighter" and got about a million matches Stew F 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stew F Posted 9June, 2017 Report Share Posted 9June, 2017 (edited) https://youtu.be/t7Y0I91rubg I googled "cigarette lighter" and got about a million matchesthat's 3. Edited 9June, 2017 by Stew F grantmr and Cars And Coffee Byron Bay 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevepGT3 Posted 9June, 2017 Report Share Posted 9June, 2017 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazzieman Posted 10June, 2017 Report Share Posted 10June, 2017 Randomly funny alright Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazzieman Posted 15June, 2017 Report Share Posted 15June, 2017 >> NEVER KNEW THIS BEFORE - Important - not a joke - Pass this on I wonder how many people know about this?>>>> A 36-year-old female had an accident several weeks ago and totalled her car. A resident of Wollongong, NSW, she was travelling between>> Wollongong & Sydney. It was raining, though not excessively, when her car suddenly began to hydroplane and literally flew through the air.>>>> She was not seriously injured but very stunned at the sudden occurrence! When she explained to the highway patrolman what had happened, he told>> her something that every driver should know - NEVER DRIVE IN THE RAIN WITH YOUR CRUISE CONTROL ON. She had thought she was being cautious by setting the cruise control and maintaining a safe consistent speed in the rain. But the Highway Patrolman told her that if the cruise control is on and your car begins to hydroplane -- when your tyres lose contact with the road surface, your car will accelerate to a higher rate of speed and you take off like an aeroplane. She told the patrolman that was exactly what had occurred.>>>> The Highway Patrol estimated her car was actually travelling through the air at 10 to 15 miles per hour faster than the speed set on the cruise>> control. The patrolman said this warning should be listed, on the driver's seat sun-visor - NEVER USE THE CRUISE CONTROL WHEN THE ROAD SURFACE IS>> WET OR ICY, along with the airbag warning. We tell our teenagers to set the cruise control and drive a safe speed - but we don't tell them to use>> the cruise control only when the road surface is dry.>>>> The only person the accident victim found, who knew this (besides the patrolman), was a man who had had a similar accident, totalled his car>> and sustained severe injuries. If you send this to 15 people and only one of them doesn't know about this, then it was all worth it. You might have>> saved a life. Cars And Coffee Byron Bay, grantmr, Niko and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grantmr Posted 15June, 2017 Report Share Posted 15June, 2017 I just know that's going to show up on my facebook. I heard this one today:"You've got to hand it to blind prostitutes" Timm and Stew F 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Posted 22June, 2017 Report Share Posted 22June, 2017 I've been over to the Ducati UK site again... Niko, Cars And Coffee Byron Bay, reax and 5 others 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stew F Posted 27June, 2017 Report Share Posted 27June, 2017 Speaking of dogs, I went to watch the dish lickers the other night. I put a bet on this dog called Mr Marvellous. It came in at 25 to 10. The race started at 7.45. Did my dough. Rob 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flatout Posted 29June, 2017 Report Share Posted 29June, 2017 Our local flasher was thinking of retiring, but he's decided to stick it out for another year. Cars And Coffee Byron Bay, firstone and Stew F 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazzieman Posted 29June, 2017 Report Share Posted 29June, 2017 This is for all the tuff guys out therehttp://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2017-06-28/uk-man-hit-by-bus-walks-into-pub/8658264?pfmredir=sm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stew F Posted 29June, 2017 Report Share Posted 29June, 2017 Our local flasher was thinking of retiring, but he's decided to stick it out for another year.Not a funny - a true story. We had a local flasher some years ago. He caused a nuisance for a good long time. I think it's pretty weird generally, but this dude took it the weirdest extreme. He used to put a padlock on his dingdong. Needless to say, he was dubbed The Padlock Flasher by the media. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.