LeeM Posted 2November, 2022 Report Share Posted 2November, 2022 Wish I knew why I laugh at the stupidest things 😅 3legs, tomo and Joz 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3legs Posted 2November, 2022 Report Share Posted 2November, 2022 Probably because of all the stupid shit that other tradies do that you have to fix LeeM and tomo 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomo Posted 3November, 2022 Report Share Posted 3November, 2022 18 hours ago, LeeM said: Wish I knew why I laugh at the stupidest things 😅 No hairs growing on the palm of the hand yet Mate I hope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joz Posted 3November, 2022 Report Share Posted 3November, 2022 For @LeeM 3legs, Arne Krix, LeeM and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joz Posted 3November, 2022 Report Share Posted 3November, 2022 An English man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant. The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself. So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted. Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round. "Try again." he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed. The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out of the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass. "No," she says, "they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is beeping the horn." Arne Krix, 3legs, Niko and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joz Posted 4November, 2022 Report Share Posted 4November, 2022 just got my own back on my partner while we were out shopping. I dragged her round 10 pubs without getting a drink then we went back to the first one we visited and I ordered a pint! Carrera28, 3legs and Yeatesy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coastr Posted 4November, 2022 Report Share Posted 4November, 2022 On 21/10/2022 at 15:50, Troubleshooter said: Climate protestors who glued themselves to Volkswagen's floor are left in the dark Jeff Parsons - Yesterday 10:13 pm A group of nine scientists have glued themselves to the floor of Volkswagen’s Autostadt facility in Germany to protest climate change. When it came time to close up for the night, VW locked the doors and switched off the lights and heating. The carmaker neglected to give them ‘a bowl to urinate and defecate in a decent manner while we are glued.’ HAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA Of course they are real scientists, they’ve got on white coats! the saddest part here is it looks like none of them were doing it to impress a girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OZ930 Posted 4November, 2022 Report Share Posted 4November, 2022 tomo, Carrera28, Niko and 3 others 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dobbo Posted 5November, 2022 Report Share Posted 5November, 2022 You blokes like sick jokes here's one for you. Snail racing took off round the pubs, so I found one in the garden and went racing and won every race. I started feeding it mineral water and the best quality lettuce and was cleaning up on the snail racing circuit. Then one day it got beaten by a faster snail so I thought how to make it faster. Make it lighter I concluded so I carefully peeled it's shell off. But sadly it only made it more sluggish. Joz, 3legs, LeeM and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomo Posted 8November, 2022 Report Share Posted 8November, 2022 Joz, LeeM and 3legs 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joz Posted 9November, 2022 Report Share Posted 9November, 2022 No Willy🤣 An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their wives were. The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a freezer to keep it in." The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!" The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both fell out of the stupid tree and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every toime oi tink of it," he chuckles. "Moy woife just left to go on a holiday in Greece. Oy watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there. And she doesn't even have a willy !"🤣 tomo, DM911 and 3legs 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joz Posted 14November, 2022 Report Share Posted 14November, 2022 tomo, Carrera28, 3legs and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joz Posted 14November, 2022 Report Share Posted 14November, 2022 tomo 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomo Posted 14November, 2022 Report Share Posted 14November, 2022 3legs 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3legs Posted 14November, 2022 Report Share Posted 14November, 2022 I just got that joke @Joz. Bit slow today. tomo and Joz 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoHeadsTas Posted 14November, 2022 Report Share Posted 14November, 2022 38 minutes ago, 3legs said: I just got that joke @Joz. Bit slow today. Still haven't got it..... tomo and Joz 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3legs Posted 14November, 2022 Report Share Posted 14November, 2022 Made a gas car. tomo and Joz 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoHeadsTas Posted 15November, 2022 Report Share Posted 15November, 2022 Aah!!!!!! OK 3legs 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomo Posted 15November, 2022 Report Share Posted 15November, 2022 LeeM, sjm, 3legs and 4 others 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjm Posted 15November, 2022 Report Share Posted 15November, 2022 Aaannnd it’s time to retire 😳 tomo and 3legs 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raven Posted 16November, 2022 Report Share Posted 16November, 2022 Carrera28, Joz, tomo and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomo Posted 16November, 2022 Report Share Posted 16November, 2022 Niko, LeeM, TwoHeadsTas and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joz Posted 16November, 2022 Report Share Posted 16November, 2022 BMW issue 🤣https://fb.watch/gR8-bZibrl/ tomo and luzzo 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joz Posted 17November, 2022 Report Share Posted 17November, 2022 3legs, tomo, Shedpest and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomo Posted 17November, 2022 Report Share Posted 17November, 2022 A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.” “I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.” They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.” sjm, LeeM, TwoHeadsTas and 1 other 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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