What's putting a smile on your dial?

[Joz]

[3legs]

Geez @Joz that wood have to be the worst dad joke of all time ( see what I did there  ).

[tomo]

[Niko]

When I started my first job in 1964, at Repco in Footscray as a spare parts/order department salesman (boy) , I would get to work on the front counter in busy times...Still learning the parts trade and the big catalogues.   I was 14 and could hardly see over the counter.  The local garage owners would take great delight in asking for a top radiator hose for a VW beetle or similar stuff.  I would be hunting through the McKay rubber book and any other books I could find to no avail.  I would ask the experienced blokes serving and they would just tell me to keep looking in the books, they were too busy to help,"also being in on the giggle of course".    AAAHHHH they were the good old days.

[3legs]

That reminds me of my first real job which was as a youth porter for the South Australian Railways at Gillman marshalling yard. I was 15. It was my first time I was doing the afternoon shift. At each end of the yard were 2 x 50-60 foot high light towers.

Come about 6pm the boss calls me into the office. I notice that all of a sudden the office was filled with the other employees looking at me and the boss threw me a box of matches and said I need to climb up the top of the light towers and light the gas lamps.

I threw the box back at him and said ok where is the switch.

The other guys burst out laughing. The boss didn't like me from that day on.

Thank f@#k for wise fathers imparting a little bit of wisdom on the pranks that first dayers get    

 

[tomo]

[Troubleshooter]

 

Climate protestors who glued themselves to Volkswagen's floor are left in the dark

Jeff Parsons - Yesterday 10:13 pm

A group of nine scientists have glued themselves to the floor of Volkswagen’s Autostadt facility in Germany to protest climate change.

When it came time to close up for the night, VW locked the doors and switched off the lights and heating. The carmaker neglected to give them ‘a bowl to urinate and defecate in a decent manner while we are glued.’

HAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA 

 

 

[GC9911]

2 minutes ago, Troubleshooter said:

 

Climate protestors who glued themselves to Volkswagen's floor are left in the dark

Jeff Parsons - Yesterday 10:13 pm

A group of nine scientists have glued themselves to the floor of Volkswagen’s Autostadt facility in Germany to protest climate change.

When it came time to close up for the night, VW locked the doors and switched off the lights and heating. The carmaker neglected to give them ‘a bowl to urinate and defecate in a decent manner while we are glued.’

HAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA 

 

 

Is Superglue an environmentally friendly product?

[OZ930]

2 hours ago, GC9911 said:

Is Superglue an environmentally friendly product?

Don't these carbon based organisms realise that they produce carbon dioxide and methane and are part the problem that they espouse to be fighting.

[Joz]

[LeeM]

 Gold 😅😅😅😅

I like how the French cops deal with those clowns when they glue themselves down. No nail polished remover used, just rip them off like a bandaid 😅👍

[tomo]

[Joz]

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store last Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said.
The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, "By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon."
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said, "Sir...There's no money in that account."
''I know," said the old man..., "But let me tell you about my weekend."

[Joz]

[tomo]

It is, Ask Google ☺️

[tomo]

⁰

[Joz]

[tomo]

[tomo]

[Joz]

[LeeM]

Yep, that's me on social media (currently a 2 day Facebook ban 😅)

[tomo]

Out supporting the pensioners to night, George Throughgood and the destroyers  Think I have gone deaf  and bloody well worth it, What a Band what a show played for 3 1/2 hrs best concert have seen for years, nothing like a room with a couple of thousand pensioners going off and drank the joint dry to boot Good Stuff

[Joz]

[tomo]

One for Cup day.

A guy is walking through the country when he spots a sign that reads, “Talking Horse for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks up to the stable to check it out.

“So what have you done with your life?” he asks the horse.

“I’ve led a full life,” the horse answers miraculously. “I was born in The Andes where I herded for an entire village. Years later, I joined the mounted police force in New York and helped keep the city clean. And now, I spend my days giving free rides to underprivileged kids here in the country.”

The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the horse’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of such an incredible animal?”

The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”

[Joz]